I tried to explain, alternating between mortified astonishment and suppressed laughter. Jake’s imagination, however, was going wild as he wondered whether Mrs. Lisa was indeed a superhero wearing aerodynamic underpants. He also suggested hanging his Captain America boxers next to her “crime-fighting gear” in an attempt to join in.

Jake’s curiosity would pique as Lisa’s laundry blew in the breeze, and it became a daily ritual. However, I realized it was time to end this farce when he offered to hang his own underwear next to hers. I therefore strode to her home, prepared to settle the dispute amicably.

Before I could say anything, Lisa answered the door and made it plain that she had no intention of changing her laundry routine for anyone. She dismissed my worries with a laugh, advised me to “loosen up,” and even gave me tips on how to spice up my own clothes.

Desperate yet frustrated, I devised a scheme, a brilliantly trivial one. That night, I used the brightest fabric I could find to make the biggest, most gaudy pair of granny panties in the world. I hung my masterpiece directly in front of Lisa’s window the following day after she left.